Life has been a doozy lately. But emerging from the stress-induced flood, I see the sun, my family, my friends, my church. I am deeply loved and honored that people care for me. The selflessness of people brings me to tears. I wish I could be as selfless and soul-giving as some of my friends and family.
For those who don’t know, the last few weeks have sent me through the wringer: house vandalism, a car accident, moving, selling a house, a busy work schedule, concerning medical tests. My body has been screaming for a breath of fresh air while also simultaneously shouting, “Bring on the rain!” I know I need rest but if life is throwing curveballs, I may as well take all the strikes in one season. Next season, I’ll recuperate.
Thankfully, no new issues have popped up. I think the fiery crucible of the last few months is shutting down (fingers crossed). I am beginning to feel a semblance of normalcy, much like the evacuation of our covid cocoons where we reentered the world with a new lens. Things had changed, so it is in my life now.
The last few months have profoundly shaped my worldview. I have been reminded of my finiteness and what is important. There’s almost a sober-mindedness that comes in tough times that I have rarely accessed, much to my own shame. I see clearly that family is so important. Friendships are worth more than any amount of material possessions; relationships last and things fade away.
I wish I could stay in this posture of humility without the tragedy, but I’m too human. I return to my old ways and forget that only a day ago I cried my eyes out, reaching out to family and friends for help. I am back to focusing and thinking about myself, my goals, my to-do list. Why is my default setting selfishness?
These sober moments are short and fleeting, but I hope they become more frequent in my life. As strange as it sounds, these challenges were good for me. Though part of me hopes to avoid such moments in the future, the part that values character and growth knows these disruptions have made me more loving and selfless. For that, I am grateful. Embracing discomfort and pain as pathways to growth is a foreign thought, but it’s one I hope to welcome over time.